WHY I STARTED BLOGGING: THE ENDLESS PURSUIT OF LIVING IN THE LIGHT

In this life, did you ever feel like you are being swallowed on a bottomless pit of comfort? You feel secure and content but not quiet. At the same time, you feel you are not doing anything anymore. For growth and progress at least. And you also feel that you are SUPPOSED TO DO something. Like you need to move. Start again. And you've been craving this, you know you need to do it but you do not know where to start. Your momentum is nowhere to be found.

And that sucks. 

I know.

I've been there. 

I'm 30 and life's an endless cycle as we know it. 

But let me tell you a very recent example of this experience. Let me tell you a story. I think I'm really good at telling stories. Lol.

Before I pursued blogging, this passion of mine for writing and just sharing to the world all the things I take interest in, my mind was so busy. Like real busy. Last year was so much of a blessing. Even though it's the peak of the Global Pandemic and we have no flights, hence no job for months, I was so blessed. 

I became a reseller of perfumes from Australia and Sleepwears from my Ate Meg's business. Also, Vibrant Wellness, a health, beauty and wellness company came into my life through the right people at the right time. With grit and just pure and wise hustling, I managed to sell thousands of Vibrant Coffee and other products using social media, marketplace, and yes Shopee! I have a Shopee Store. Team Oragon came into fruition. Became a Stockist. My cousin, Cyril and I also managed to put up a store just last April (Vibrant Wellness-Business Center Office). So grateful for Ate Meg and for the people surrounding Vibrant. I was able to survive the financial challenges last year. Thank you also to my husband for the unfaltering, best-of-this-world support! Expect more delicious cooking from me darling HAHAHHAHA. 

The work I put in was immense. The demands for the products were no joke! Even up to the present day. From selling to packing the goods for shipment to prospecting to being invited to talk to the whole community. It was crazy! My fingers were shaking then because I was talking to different and a lot of people through chat and calls from the time I woke up until late at night. I was growing a Team and at the same time I was learning the trade and art of this business. I would usually fall asleep with the phone in my hands. God, I was so tired back then hahaha.

But I was grateful. :-)

Come 2021. I returned to flying. Trained again as a refresher and we were updated on the New Normal Procedures on flights nowadays. 

But returning to flying affected my momentum on Entrepreneurship. It's not that I'm not grateful to fly again. I am. It's a job that will bring food to the table and pay the bills. It's just that flying is a different world and a different lifestyle. And since the start of this pandemic, it became a different era, so adjustment came in handy most of the time. Before, I would sign up a new member almost every other day if not every day. Today is a different story. I would have difficulty picking up my momentum.

Last March was a joyous moment for Paolo and me. We got engaged and got married last June. So you get the planning and preparation that goes along with that right? So there's thinking involved. We were busy. The wedding went really well just like what we envisioned. And by "We" I mean me LOL.  (Maybe I can write a separate blog for that one. Lets see. Hmmm )

During that period, Paolo and I were scouring the internet for rooms or apartments that we can rent so we can always be with each other. We cannot bear even just a day apart. It was hell! (Okay I've never been to hell, its just that it was so sad hahahhahahha) So Paolo and I ended up renting the condo of his kuya and ate haha! Thanks Kuya Paul and Ate Miracle! 

So there, I told you a brief story of how whirlwind my last year and past months have been. It was really crazy and mind-boggling and took my emotions to new and higher heights. Adjustment and riding the current is the key. Thank you, Lord.

So now Pao and I are settled. Really happily married. I'm still flying, still doing Vibrant Wellness as a business both here in Metro Manila and in our BCO in Tabaco City, Albay. Team Oragon is soaring. Some friends will tell me "you're really doing great Cla! Keep it up" I appreciate every compliment I swear...

It's just that,

I feel like I'm not doing enough.

I'm not sad. This is just a feeling bogging me for months. 

For the past months, I feel like I'm being swallowed half into this bottomless pit of "You're not doing anything" "It's not enough" "You need to move". Like I'm already doing something, isn't that enough?" Blah blah blah. But I couldn't figure it out. It's like I'm talking to myself and asking "What do I need to do?' There is that void in my chest speaking so loud that I need to do something but I just can't quite point what it is. 

Or maybe I'm just not content with the level of busyness that I have, compared to the level of busyness that I had before. I don't know. I was really confused. 

It's crazy how these things feel like a voice in your head nudging you to do something. 

So, being someone who practices Zen and a believer of this whole Universe, parallel worlds, "We-are-spiritual-bodies-in-the-Cosmos-kind-of-thing", "Consciousness", "We-are-made-up-of-energies" All those sorts of things. So what I did is I prayed. Prayed a lot. Cause I always believed that prayers and Law of Attraction are simply connected with each other. Since both has the same properties and characters and in lay-mans terms, they make your wish come true! Practicing this clears your path for new energies to enter thus showing you the way, 

As a realist, I do a lot of praying. (From January of 2018, I was praying a Novena for this certain beautiful Saint and from then on, my life started to unfurl, Maybe I'll write a separate blog on that too haha!) but I know I need to do something to help myself see the way. And so I went back to reading and searched the internet for books that I really find interesting in a way that will be of help to my existence.

As I was digging the internet for books, I came across a book entitled "Living in the Light" by an author with a very interesting name.

Shakti Gawain

With that kind of title, and author name, it was very me to stop and check it out.

I read and read and fell on its charms. 

Man, it really hit me. The Universe is talking to me through this book! Let me share with you a passage. 

" As I explored the process of creating my own reality, I gradually began to realize that the creative power I was feeling was coming from a source other than just my personality. For one thing, some of the things I thought I wanted didn't manifest and in retrospect, I could see that it was for my highest good that they didn't happen. Other things occurred so miraculously that it was as if some unseen force was putting everything in place. "

I know!!! Amazing right? but let me share with you another passage to further widen your understanding of what I am trying to point out. It's about Intuition, gut feel, or what Shakti calls "Inner Guidance" 

"I know most of us have had experiences at certain times when we've felt life energy, wisdom, and power flow through us when we have felt momentarily "enlightened". We have a brief moment of clarity and power and then it goes away again. When it goes away, we feel lost and unsure of ourselves."

When I read this passage, I reminisced memories from my past where I've always felt this "Inner Guidance" thing. Well, of course, I'm not so trusting still (knowing me lol) and would ask counsel from people who are better than me, wiser than me whenever I make a decision. Cause I am like that. Whenever Clarence makes a decision, I would first do my research, ask advice from my closest mentors, introspect a lot. More like overthinking. I need time. Then come up with a decision. So far, scanning how my life turned out, I guess I made some good ones, from relationships, careers, even with friends (Thanks to my good friends and Papa G) and I am very grateful. 

One very recent example that I can share is the decision of me joining Vibrant Wellness. (Yes, as simple as that! I was able to connect it)

Before I joined Vibrant, I wasnt really interested in it, like zero. But as time went by, months went by, it sort of build up inside me especially when I saw all those infomercials about the products. It caught my attention because I'm a fact believer. Like if Science approves, then man I'm in. Not really a fan of hearsays though. 

Then as time went by, for three freakin straight days, it's like something was prodding me to join. I cannot shake it off. Something or someone is clearly telling me to join. And at the time there were invitations but to sit in and make a presentation for me. None of that sort. So I know it's coming from somewhere far. It's so weird. 

Until the 3rd day, I finally told Pao, "Babe, babe I will join Vibrant Wellness, I cannot take it off my mind, I think something special is about to happen, I can feel it" and I was really excited!!

Then I joined. Who knew that we will be growing from 1 to 850 members in 1 year? Never in my wildest dreams. Who knew that it would save me from my financial difficulties especially when I had no income. Who knew that when everyone was closing businesses, here we are, opening up a store in our Province? 

No one saw that coming. Neither did I. It was almost magical! It's really like someone up there was doing all the work! (But I was of course doing work too hehe)

And I think that was the perfect example of listening to this "Inner Guidance".

Had I not made that decision. I don't know what could have happened to me last year. Maybe I had to say goodbye to 2 of my insurance. Said goodbye to the piece of land that I was paying for in the Province. Or worse, I will not be able to eat anything I want hahahahha. God, I do not want that to happen. That will be the worst ever just in case. 

It's very amazing how things happened. Until now, I still can't believe how one single decision can totally direct your life and save you. 

Makes me think, those things that I believe in and read in books? It exists man. And I am so open to learning more now than ever. 

Geez, I really talked a lot, Este wrote a lot. Lol.

And so to answer the question, Why I started blogging? 

First of all, I love to write and voice out my thoughts. Why not blog?

Second, I have a lot of time now compared to pre-pandemic time. Why not blog?

Third, In my heart, in my mind, and in my soul, Something is bogging the hell out of me to write. And it won't leave me alone. Ever since I read that book. It's almost annoying hahaha Just kidding! 

Actually, the answer is there's really nothing wrong with me blogging as I  do not violate any moral or ethical code and that Number Three reason above. That's basically it. Lol!

So here I am, baring my soul and my brain down here to talk to you guys and to the Universe. I pursued it and it feels good. I know I still have a long way to go and I'm totally up for it! 

If you're interested in that book, you can just search for it on google or if you're my friend on Facebook, send me a message, We'll find a way for you to read it too. It's a ride!

In conclusion, I think my unsolicited advice is if something is bogging you to do or not do something follow it. Or if something is telling you something but could not quite point out what it is, learn to listen.  But my advice as Clarence would also include, have mentors, please. Those are essential in this life as I have found mine. You can ask for their wisdom for clarity. Please also do a lot of introspection (this works best for Introverts like me lol)  and last but not the least. Pray to your God, that Higher Being for Guidance. It will put your mind at ease. 

Remember, we are not perfect beings. We need proper guidance. Life is a cycle. It will present itself anytime, anywhere over and over again. That is a challenge. And then somewhere, a voice in your heart will nudge you. Learn to listen to its light. 

Seek and You Shall Find.

Hope this helps! Godbless everybody!!